Not Sticking to Your Routines? This Will Help!
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ What routines are and why they are important
⋒ 5 reasons why your routines might not be working for you
⋒ The steps to take in order to create routines that support you
Alright y’all let’s get into today’s topic – why your routines aren’t working and what you can do about it. I hear these kinds of things in my DMs on the regular:
~ ”Routines just don’t work for me. I can never stick with them.”
~ ”My life is just too full for routines. I have so much going on.”
~ ”I feel too structured with routines – I like flexibility.”
If you find yourself thinking those kinds of thoughts when it comes to routines, this episode is for you. We’re gonna dig into what routines are, how they can support you, and how you can design them in a way that works for you.
Routines should feel like a soft place to land. They should bring you peace not stress you out.
You aren’t a failure if you’re not sticking to your routines. You probably just need to revamp your routines so they make sense for your season of life.
Let’s lay some groundwork and go over what I consider routines to be so we’re all on the same page.
Okay, so what are routines exactly?
I view them as like on ramps on the interstate or landing strips at an airport.
Let me explain:
When you’re driving, and you need to get on the interstate, you do that by using the on ramp. You don’t just go from 45 MPH on a regular road to 75 MPH on the interstate. You gradually up your speed and merge into the flow of the faster traffic. Same when you’re getting off the interstate – you don’t just jump from the interstate to a regular road – you gradually slow down and merge into the flow of slower traffic.
This is how I use routines in my life – to help me intentionally go through my days, my weeks, and my months with ease rather than feeling like I’m frantically trying to cram everything into my life without anything falling through the cracks.
I cannot tell you how flowy my life feels because of routines. Routines create so much space in my life – because I’m hardly ever wondering when something is going to get done or happen. Everything that’s important to me has a place in my day, in my week, or in my month.
Routines set me up for success – they equip me to show up for what matters most to me. They give me a sense of peace and I’m able to be more present when I’m doing things because I’m not worried or stressed about the next thing since, like I just said, everything has a place in my life. Routines build things into my schedule so I don’t have to start from scratch every day – that sounds exhausting.
Okay I think you have a grasp on my love for routines, lol – let’s move on to why your routines aren’t working for you.
5 Reasons Your Routines May Not Be Working For You
01. Your season has changed and your current routine doesn't support your season
Sometimes we get so accustomed to a routine being a part of our lives that we forget that routines aren’t meant to stay the same forever.
Some routines that I had in place before becoming a mom literally do not make sense for my life anymore.
It would be silly for me to try and live the same way I did before I had a kid, right? Like when I put it like that, it makes sense.
Maybe when you were in grad school and working a full-time, job you had to go to the gym at 6 AM because it was the only available time slot in your day. Now that you’re graduated and don’t have to study or go to class after work, you have more margin. You actually prefer afternoon workouts but because you’ve been so used to your morning workout routine, you didn’t realize that it could be as simple as changing your approach to the routine. You’re not actually being lazy or unmotivated because morning workouts aren’t doing it for you anymore.
Examples of life seasons changing: getting married, moving, getting a new job, experiencing a trauma, anything health-related, getting pregnant, a family member moving in with you… the list goes on.
Make sure that the routines you have make sense for you current season of life.
02. You’re trying to copy/paste someone else’s routine into your life
Be real with yourself – are you trying to hold yourself to a standard that someone else is portraying that they’re living up to?
Keep in mind that they are able to show up for their routines because they designed them in a way that supports them. What supports them may not support you.
It takes more brain power to come up with your own routines rather than just trying to plug and play with someone else’s but it’s worth it because then the routines in your life create peace instead of guilt.
03. You’ve outgrown your routine.
I think this is a less obvious one. If you are dreading a routine or skipping a routine altogether that used to work for you, it might be because you’ve outgrown your routine.
Maybe your goals have changed and your routines need to evolve with you.
I have a personal example for this one:
If you follow me on Instagram, you can probably tell that exercising is a value of mine. I love moving my body and it’s important to me. But for some reason, the last few weeks, I’ve been skipping my gym classes.
I found myself dreading leaving the house so early to get to the gym. I wasn’t dreading exercising, just going to the gym.
I was craving spending slower mornings with my family – probably because the weather is nicer in Florida right now. So instead of me beating myself up for not wanting to go to early morning workout classes, I’ve been going on morning walks with my fam and then doing a weightlifting session in our backyard gym.
I had to adapt my workout routine to support me.
04. You’re operating from an all-or-nothing mindset.
Are you ready to say it with me – our schedules and routines are tools, not chains.
Your routines are never going to be perfect. Because life happens.
An all-or-nothing mindset is when you accept nothing less than everything. And that doesn’t work because perfection isn’t real. And all-or-nothing mindset is a cognitive distortion – it makes it impossible to create any lasting change.
Speaking from experience, consistency over time trumps going all in for 3-days and then crashing and burning over and over again.
Learn how to show up day after day even if that means taking smaller steps.
05. You’re overcomplicating it
Okay, I am still trying to figure this one out myself. I’m actually planning on talking about it with my therapist in my next session, lol.
Sometimes when things feel too easy, we think we’re doing it wrong.
It’s almost like we’ve been conditioned to have to be in this constant state of hustle for things to be considered good. How unhealthy, right?
Things don’t have to feel hard. Things can absolutely feel easy.
I’m learning about contentment – I googled the definition of content and it literally means “in a state of peaceful happiness.”
YES, PLEASE - I LOVE THAT FOR ME.
We’ve become so accustomed to feeling exhausted, burned out, and frazzled that we feel like we aren’t doing enough if we actually feel peacefully happy.
Don’t overcomplicate your routines. If things feels good right now, then you don’t need to make changes just to make them. 🫶🏻
Now we’re gonna talk about how to create routines that you’re stoked about – even if you’re not a routine person, I think these tips are going to be helpful for you so listen to them with an open mind and a willing-to-try mindset.
5 Steps to Create Routines That Support You:
01. Decide where a routine is needed.
Routines help us fill in gaps – they help us fix clunky feeling parts of life.
To figure this part out, ask yourself these kinds of questions:
~ Is there something that’s important to me that I’m not showing up for?
Maybe since becoming a mom, you feel like you haven’t been prioritizing your friendships so you want to design a routine that helps you consistently spend quality time with friends.
~ Is there any part of my day, week, or month that feels clunky or chaotic?
Maybe you need to design an afterschool routine because you’re tired of bringing the kids home from school and tripping over backpacks and hearing the phrase “I’m hungry” repeated 16 times in a 5-minute timespan.
02. Figure out the intention behind your routine.
This is the step that sets Hustle Sanely apart from regular productivity advice – before we go ham with designing a routine, we need to take a few moments to get clear on our vision for the routine because when we have a clear vision, the showing up part doesn’t feel as hard.
To do this, ask yourself:
~ Why do I care about fixing this issue? (the issue being whatever important thing you’re not showing up for or whatever part of your life feels clunky)
When you know the purpose behind a certain routine, it makes it easier to pivot or adjust the routine when you need to – we’ll talk more about that in the next step.
03. Design the routine.
This is where you actually build out your routine. And guess what? There isn’t one right way to do this.
Different types of people crave different types of routines.
For example, I used to thrive on very structured routines. I’d want things to look the same day after day and week after week. Same days, same times, same activities, etc.
Now, that doesn’t feel good to me.
I prefer more loosely structured routines.
Sometimes I do my weekly reset routine on Thursday evenings and sometimes I do it on Friday mornings. Depends on how I’m feeling and what else is going on. Remember, the point of a routine is to support you, not stress you out.
Keep your routines simple and focused on the intention behind the routine.
And if it feels helpful, give yourself options. If you’re a shift worker, create a version of the routine for when you have nights off and one for when you have days off.
An example from my own life, I have a few different versions of my morning routine – depending on what time Everly wakes up. All of the versions help me accomplish the purpose of my morning routine, which is to spend time with Jesus and to prep my mindset for the day.
To design a routine, think about what problem you’re solving, why solving that problem matters to you, and how you can carry out a solution.
Don’t hyperfocus on days and times if that stresses you out.
Like we have a daily routine for Everly, but we don’t follow specific times for her naps and meals. We have a daily flow and follow her cues. The times that things happen depend on when the thing before it happened. So if she wakes up at 6AM, her first nap is going to be different than if she wakes up at 7AM.
Our daily routine for her is following 3-3.5 hour wake windows.
We focus on following the wake windows because we know it supports good sleep hygiene for her – we don’t stress out about whether her first nap is at 9:30 or 10, you know?
Keep the main thing the main thing and don’t make a problem out of nothing.
04. Put the routine in your planning system.
Whether you use a paper planner, like the Peacefully Productive Planner or a digital calendar – put your routines on your schedule. This is especially helpful when you’re getting used to a new routine. So for example, I’ve talked about having a shared Google cal with my husband so he can see what I have going on and vice versa – I have a recurring event in there for our Weekly Family Prep Meeting.
And in my paper planner – when I’m doing my time blocking for the day, I always have my morning routine written in.
I’m a visual person and seeing my week at a glance with all my routines written in helps my brain. And it honestly helps me to see how everything connects, too, having that bird’s eye view of my week, if that makes sense.
05. Evaluate the routine regularly and update the routine as necessary.
The Hustle Sanely Planning System includes monthly and quarterly check-in meetings so you can assess your goals and your methods of approach toward them – this is when I take time to figure out what isn’t working well in my life and needs to change.
I use my Peacefully Productive Journal to help me with this – there are prompts in there to help me determine if my routines are supporting me or stressing me out.
Whatever way you do this, just make sure that you have consistent time built into your schedule to audit and update your routines.
Yes… a routine to think about your routines, lol.
Listen – routines aren’t magic. They aren’t going to make your life perfect and they’re not going to go according to plan every time. That’s not the point. Routines help us to be better stewards of our time and energy. They equip us to be more intentional with our time. They help us to be proud of how we’re showing up for our lives because we know we’re showing up for what matters to us consistently and we’re able to be present when we do that because we have routines weaved into our lives so that we aren’t constantly worrying that something is slipping through the cracks.
Remember – our schedules and routines are tools, not chains. You’re the boss of your routines. You get to decide how you use them in your life.
It’s Planner Season!
In case you missed it, our 2024 Paper Collection is HERE! You can now purchase your favorite Hustle Sanely paper products!
Loved this blog post? Tune into the full podcast episode below!
